November 1, 2013
Meet my sweet Bella! This is one of my all-time favorite pictures of her! I happened to catch her in the middle of a yawn :) I post this picture before every Cincinnati Bengals football game because, well, it's awesome!
Bella was diagnosed with SARDS (Sudden Acute Retinal Degeneration Syndrome) a few months ago. I began noticing that she was bumping into things and not able to follow or see toys that I was throwing for her. After a scary fall down the stairs, I decided to take her to the vet as it was obvious she was having trouble seeing. I, however, was not at all prepared for her diagnosis. Basically, what I took away from the vet visit was that she was 100% blind, it is not reversible and there is no cure. However, she is and will not be in any pain and can live a long, healthy life. It is also related to Cushing's Disease (which, frighteningly, Bella's mother - my mom's dog - was diagnosed with and eventually led to her passing in December 2012). They tested Bella for Cushing's and she was negative. I was told to not move any furniture in my home and that we would be able to work together to get her though this. I was devastated ... crying, hysterical, distraught. The vet said it's typically harder on the owners than the actual dogs. Again, this is what I took away from that vet visit.
I'm going to give you some more back story and discuss what has happened since that first diagnosis, but I do want to stop here and say that what prompted me to start this blog is two-fold: 1) Bella has taken a turn for the worse and it's so much more difficult and heart wrenching than I ever could have imagined and 2) Upon LOTS of additional research ... I realize that there is so much more out there in relation to SARDS that is unknown ... if this blog can help one owner know our story and assist in their own ... then I will have done what I am setting out to do.
Now, for some back story:
I came home from the vet that day and was understandably upset. I posted about it on Facebook and received a lot of comments of encouragement and stories of other dogs that were blind and eventually got back to being a normal dog ... just one that couldn't see. I was comforted in knowing and believing that me and Bella were going to be alright! I don't know if any of those stories were about dogs with SARDS (and believe me, I pray and hope that some were!) but I have since learned that there is a big difference in the reactions and rehabilitation of dogs that go blind and dogs that go blind due to SARDS.
What I didn't know at the time of her diagnosis, is that she hadn't lost complete vision. I actually thought my vet was a little crazy. Even though I was told that she was 100% blind, it was quite obvious that she could still see people (evidenced by her sprinting away from me four buildings down to greet a non-impressed neighbor just getting home from work and trying to get in their house!). I know her other senses are supposed to be more heightened, but really? She also still jumped up and down on my couches and used the stairs to get up and down on the bed without any problems. She would see people and other dogs outside of my living room window (as she LOVES to prop herself up on the couch and just stare out). Granted, she still had issues bumping into things here and there, not being able to retrieve thrown toys and refused to go down the basement stairs.
About two weeks ago on a Monday morning, I was aware immediately that Bella was completely blind. It was so scary. She was FINE when we went to bed on Sunday. Everything about my little Bella changed overnight.
She was and still is bumping into everything in the house ... she'll miss the opening between walls ever so slightly, she'll misjudge where a chair is placed, etc. I have been told and also read that they do typically adjust (and it HAS only been a couple of weeks), but it's upsetting. She will still jump up on the couch by the window to "look out" which, by the way, I find so intriguing but she can't seem to muster enough confidence to jump on the one I usually sit on ... I say "up" and she puts her two front paws up on the couch and I lift her up. If she is by me, she MUST be right up beside me ... there's no space between us ever now if she has anything to say about it ... and I'm fine with that because I know it comforts her. She can no longer use the stairs to get on the bed so I lift her up there as well. I also get her down from couches and the bed now, too, as I am terrified of her breaking a leg by misjudging the distance when she jumps.
Perhaps the most disturbing and depressing part of all of this for me (and you know what, I actually believe this IS harder on Bella than me ... I mean I can't imagine going blind overnight and then not being able to communicate with anyone about what has happened or why it has happened and then just go on day to day depending so much on others) is the lethargy associated with it. Bella literally wakes up in the morning and we go outside for her to have a quick bathroom break (I get up around 5am so a walk by myself in the dark with her and the difficulties that go with walking a blind dog is not something I want to do at that early hour ... it's a safety thing). She then comes in, eats, goes to her dog bed (which she rarely used up until now) and sleeps until I take her for her first morning walk. She will not play, she will not move. Sometimes, I have to physically pick her up and take her to the front door to get her up and moving for her walk. The walk is trying.
I am so glad a friend of mine gave me the book, "Living with Blind Dogs" as it has been such a huge resource for helping me with Bella, educating me on SARDS and how to train a dog with SARDS different from other blind dogs ... so gives me necessary knowledge to cater to Bella. Like, the walks.
A short walk that would typically take roughly 5 minutes down and back is a 20 minute ordeal (on a good day). She, obviously, is terrified. We're taking it slow and tips from the book are helpful. I take treats with me and am trying to teach her "stop" when there's an obstacle, "step" when there's a variation in height between the sidewalk and grass, "s-l-o-w" when she gets a little too eager (i.e. wanting to go into the street). She isn't eager often though. I don't mind re-training her with these new things, but I have to admit, it can be frustrating at times ... and I'm sure that goes for her too! Anyone who knows me knows that patience is something I am not good at ... so this is quite a learning curve for me! It gets me emotional at times, but I'm learning from the book I'm reading that I must stay calm and encouraging for Bella ... when it gets to me, I need to excuse myself and not let Bella know that I'm upset, etc. Logical ... but really difficult to put into practice. She seems to be picking it up slowly ... so that is refreshing :)
She then comes inside and goes either back to her doggie bed, gets on the couch with me or sits at my feet if I'm working in the kitchen (I work from home, which, under the circumstances is the best case scenario for her!). She then sleeps again ... snores and sometimes dreams. She will not play, she will not move. I then take her for her afternoon walk ... same regimen, similar results. We come in and she sleeps again ... snores and sometimes dreams. After work, I try to play with her or do anything to get her moving ... these days if she wags her tail, I am beyond elated! It doesn't work. We do the evening walk and go to bed. This is how it goes these days.
Other things I want to talk about in this blog and will make note of now are (what's to come and a reminder to myself to discuss):
She's having trouble walking
Not drinking water
More info on SARDS itself
Weight gain, Thirst/Hunger
Natural Food
Her Other Senses
Horrible blogs that I've read (both helpful and disturbing)
My Hopes and Fears
Do dogs get depressed?
Coddling
For now, I need to sign-off. It's about time for a walk. I do want to say though ... right before I started this entry, she was actually as lively as I've seen her in quite some time as she was chewing on a bone I bought her yesterday ... tail wagging and all. Made my day.
*Maybe she knew I was writing about her :)
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